Mark your Calenders

April 11th 2010

yours truley will be doing "THE MUD RUN!"

Yes...you did read that correctly!

If you have no idea as to what this is you must check it out!

www.mudrundfw.com

I'm still in disbelief at the moment.

This goes against everything I am.

It consist of getting dirty, sweating, muddy, wearing combat boots,ponytails and camo pants!!

...but I am so pumped about this adventure! And that it will be!

Come out for some priceless entertainment!!!

Food for thought

So this morning I'm in my bathroom getting ready for the day. And also having a conversation with a girlfriend(and a fabulous one at that) thru texting. She is also having trouble concieving and just started taking clomid. We have been referred to the same Infertility doctor. I have not yet met the man that Will get me pregnant, but she has. She says he is wonderful and has a great bedside manner. What a relief! I know things aren't at the moment working out as she wants them to. I know and feel her frustratrion and disappointment. I know she is tired of waiting just as I am. As I am having this conversation with her it suddenly all makes sense.

I have asked God over and over again...WHY ME?? Why do I have to endure this? Why do I get my hopes up over and over again? Why can't I just get pregnant like everyone else?

And in that moment I realize this....Maybe I have gone through all of this . So in this time in her life I can be there for her. That I truley know the disappointment and the frustration she faces. And if that is the case as hard as it's been...it's worth it!

Fashion kills...

your brain cells! This is the conclusion I've come to after many occasions. I have found that I wear heels to alot of very inappropriate places.

Like when I wore heels to the Stock Show. Where there is lots of animals! And where there is lots of animals there is lots of animal poop. Yuck!

Or the Time I wore these grey heels. No place other than the Apple Orchard on a field trip with T and his class. It might have not been so bad if it hadn't rained that whole week. No I didn't get the hint when I saw all the other parents wearing rain boots either!

Needless to say that was in September. These heels still sit on my closet floor looking just like this. I haven't been able to bring myself to clean them off. I'm actually thinking it might be easier to just go buy a new pair!

The most recent occasion...The Gaylord Ice Exhibit. Where it is 9 degrees inside! Once again it never dawned on me. Not even as I was putting our coats, scarfs, mittens and hats all in the car. There is no way I would ever have a coat and a parka on with heels! Okay so maybe I did! But I sure did look cute.

So what if I place fashion above all else. My toes were only numb and didn't get the feeling back in them for at least an hour.

Merry Christmas

The Eve of Christmas

Wow...it's already here! Seriously how does it come faster each year. I love this time of year and very sad it's almost over.

Although I can't sleep! My little SugarPlum is snug in my bed with visions of ripsticks dancing in his head. Santa has already stopped by The Moseley house and eaten his cookies...boy they were yummy! I'm missing my hubby tonight. I hate when his shift falls on hoildays...especially Christmas Eve.

I can't wait to see the excitement on T's face when he see's that Santa has indeed stopped by.

And of course he has been Good all year long!!! And even if he wasn't how could you say No to this face??? Nope I couldn't!!! That's why he's spoiled rotten. There is a tree with too many presents under it to count with his name on them.

Oh I can't turn on the alarm tonight either. Tristen is afraid Santa will set it off when he comes down the chimmney.

And to all a goodnight!!!

VENTING

So after a chilly night at the Fall Festival I have come to a conclusion! Seeing adorable babies in adorable costumes and pregnant women galore....does not help me. At all! I did catch myself several different times this evening starring at babies and mothers pushing strollers. As my heart desires more than anything to get to push a stroller again or carry a baby of my own in my arms.

I love being a mom more than anything in this world! I love being Tristen's mom! We had such a good time playing games, eating candy, bouncing in bounce houses, riding horses and eating of course. I will post pictures soon.

With all of that being said I came home tonight and decided to start researching IVF. Lets just say I have lots of questions, fears and concerns. I don't meet with my doctor until Monday for my post opt check-up. I will have more of a idea of where to go from here and who to see. Until then I had to do some research of my own.

After researching and reading for several hours I think I might just go dip in to T's candy bag. I think my questions just grew by the thousands. I can't even understand half the crap I just read. Seriously thinking I may need a class in IVF lingo!

I think there is a chance I might not be able to sleep tonight. I might not be able to turn off my mind...at this point it's in overload mode.

How much will this cost?

I just read on one doctors site roughly $20,000! And this isn't guaranteed people!

Will we be able to afford this realistically?

How soon can we start the process?

What does IVF entail?

I had know idea....test all kinds of test. Hormone shots. Egg retrieval. Sperm retrieval...I'm a little worried about this part. I don't know how excited Matt is going to be about doing his business in the doctor's office...if you know what I mean.

Can I emotionally go through all of this knowing there is that chance it might not work?

Should I just give up my dream of having more children?

Will Tristen be a only child for the rest of his life?

What things will we sacrifice to make this happen?

Why is this the road I have to go down?

Why can people on welfare and illegal immigrants pop out babies like skittles and I have to support them? When I can't even afford to have another child myself!

And the list could go on and on!

Now that I vented a little, ate 2 Twinkies, drank 2 bottles of water I'm starting to FEEL A LITTLE BETTER AND a little sleepy.

BEFORE I HEAD TO BED I MUST say tonight was a little bitter sweet for me. This time last year I went to the Fall Festival 8 weeks pregnant. I had already begun dreaming of a future with a new addition to our FAMILY. I LEFT THAT NIGHT WITH STABBING PAINS ON MY RIGHT SIDE THAT LITERALLY TOOK ME TO MY KNEES. I HEADED HOME TOOK A HOT BATH AND DRANK SOME HOT TEA. LITTLE DID I KNOW THOSE DREAMS WOULD BE CRUSHED IN JUST A FEW DAYS. AS I SIT HERE TONIGHT AND LOOK BACK ON WHAT I'VE ENDURED THE LAST YEAR...ITS PRETTY UNBELIEVABLE TO ME. GOD HAS BLESSED ME WITH AMAZING FRIENDS AND FAMILY....AND ONE CHARMING LITTLE BOY! THERE IS NO WAY I COULD DO IT WITHOUT THEM. I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD FEELING THEY'LL BE MY BACKBONE TO THIS JOURNEY WERE ABOUT TO EMBARK ON.

SO CHEERS TO EGG RETRIEVAL, MORE TEARS AND NEW POSSIBILITIES!

Not "cracking" up

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the Kings horses and All the Kings men

couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again....

AND neither could mommy!

So Tristen came home today with Humpty Dumpty...

All week at school they have been learning different Nursery Rhymes. So today they tested out Humpty Dumpty. Yes there was a real egg in that bag too! No I did not realize it until it was too late!

Tristen's Humpty Dumpty with stood the fall from the ladder today at school. Yes you heard that correctly. Tristen's teacher is simply an amazing teacher. She let the kids stand on a ladder and drop their Humpty Dumpy from a ladder to see if he would break.

Well since Humpty Dumpty was still alive in the bag. Tristen couldn't wait to get him out and show me. Before I could get the words out Humpty Dumpty died a quick death. All over Tristen's jeans, converse, socks and my chair cushions.

Lets just say I had a few choice words for Humpty Dumpty!

Oh God why me?

The last thing I wanted to be doing was cleaning up raw egg in the playroom.

And consoling my child over...yes you guessed it! A raw egg!

Tristen was completely devastated over Humpty Dumpty's death.

After crying for at least 30 minutes we decided to replace Humpty with a plastic Easter egg.

I also replaced a healthy home cooked meal for dinner with a frozen pizza.

Then we headed outside for a therapeutic walk around the block.

We are all recovering well after such a dramatic event!