Not feeling so sassy

I'm not sure where to begin....I'm feeling a little tired, under the weather and not so sassy at all. As most of you didn't know till Monday that I was pregnant. As our journey to add to our family has been a long long disappointing road. We have been trying for 3 years as most of you know. For the rest of you guys I'll give you a little background. I have had 3 miscarriages and 2 ectopic pregnancies in the last 3 years. Last November I suffered from my first ectopic pregnancy. When my right tube ruptured at 9 weeks pregnant. I was rushed to the emergency room by ambulance. Where I had emergency surgery to take out my right tube and stop the bleeding.

Now fast forward a few weeks ago. I found out I was pregnant for the 5th time since having Tristen. I thought for sure this was it! So we keep it pretty quiet as my history hasn't been good. I went in Monday for a check-up do to some spotting and light pain. Since I had hit the 6 weeks mark they went ahead and did a sonogram. I must say I Hate internal sonograms they are not on my list of favorites. So it takes a while to do the sonogram. There is lots of silence and little clicks on the keyboard. And then you hear this heartbeat.....strong and loud! It amazes me how at 6 weeks a heart is so strong. Of course the tech isn't aloud to gives us any information. So we wait on the doctor for what seems like eternity. Finally we sit down in his office for the news we don't want to hear. I have another ectopic pregnancy. This time it's in my left tube. At this point I'm starring at the doctor in pure disbelief. How can this be? I hate that I'll never get to hold the baby whose heart I just heard beat so loud and strong. That my dreams of becoming a mother again have been crushed by just a few words. He explains that he'll have to do surgery to remove my left tube and ectopic pregnancy. At this point I have tried to compose myself as long as I can. As I slowly fall apart in his office and tears stream down my face. I realize that this means I no longer can conceive naturally. If we want more children we will have to rely on in virto.

I cried myself across the hall to the hospital to begin the pre-opt process. I sit at registration like a zombie as Matt answers most of the questions and signs the paperwork. I send out multiple text messages to friends and family letting them know the circumstances. I called my Dad and cried like a baby...yes I'm still a Daddy's girl. No matter what it is my Dad always gives me a sense of peace.

My mom and Tristen come to the hospital and wait as I'm getting my blood taken and answering more questions.

Finally it's time to leave and of course I'm hungry. So my sweet husband knows the way to my heart. We hop in the car...our family of 3 and head to my favorite restaurant! Abeulos!!!

So for the rest of the evening we forget our worries and enjoy one another. I eat till I can't eat anymore and take the rest home for later.

On our way home we decided we will all help clean the house when we get home. Knowing I would be having surgery the next day. I will be down and out for at least a week. I want to come home to a sparkly clean house. Yes...I know it's a bit crazy. Everyone told me to take it easy but I just couldn't do it. So by 10pm I had a clean house and a warm Pumpkin Spice Latte in hand. I'm so thankful for my girlfriend Sarah who came by to pray for me and brought Starbucks!

My parents also made a late visit to pray over me too!

Sorry for such a long post. I hope your retina's aren;t bleeding.

I'll post more about Surgery later.